I Am A Work In Progress.
Every perfect person contradicts themselves.
There is constant internal conflict happening. One day I am on the top of the world, higher than I’ve ever been and the same day I feel as though I can’t get any lower.
Ideas that I once clung so closely to become distant memories turned lessons. My ability to change and step into a new version of myself challanges the ideas and values I was raised on. But I am unable to achieve this at its maximum without the help of others.
Meet Courtney.
He is one of my good friends.
A Chicago native, along with attending the same university we both happen to be Multimedia Journalism students.
In 2020 I wrote one article.
In 2021 I didn’t write anything besides work for my class assignments. That I wouldn’t particularly share outside of Blackboard.
Yet I still had this longing to write and believed that I was a writer.
I was just afraid. (of course)
My imposter syndrome had convinced me that I did not know how to write. That sharing my ideas, feelings and experiences had to be presented in one way & that there was this unspoken rule that my adolescent writing skills which had helped me communicate my ideas all my life were not good enough. So I did not write at all.
Who was I to think that my skills were adolescent to begin with?
Who made the rules and why did I feel like I wasn’t allowed to break them?
Yes, I know that as writers we abide by certain mechanic rules, but those were put in place to help us better communicate to our intended audience. As creatives we are allowed to move within and around those rules to craft stories that satisfy our desired aesthetic.
I noticed that pretty frequently Courtney would share his written work on his Instagram Story. A writer for several publications, he covered all things music. (And I love music, duh!)
Out of sheer curiosity I began reading his articles.
The personable tone in his writing drew me in and his dedication to sharing relevant and new music kept me coming back.
It felt like I was having a one sided conversation that afforded me the space to listen and learn.
A lot of times when I meet new people they are infatuated with all that I can do. They view me through a tiny microscope that only validates my skills and talents on social media, denying me the opportunity to make mistakes and grow in real life.
When you’re getting to know someone there’s this fear that you may do too much or too less. Tip toeing on a balance beam bound to slip under your feet. As I grew closer to my new found friend it revealed a few truths in myself.
Courtney’s work captivated and inspired me to write and reflect on my experiences yet I refrained so long from expressing my admiration.
A part of it was fear that my friend would not receive my warm regards in the way that I intended.
Too often, for whatever reason you can think of, we as humans wait too late to support the people in our community even if we’ve mentally been rooting for them from the beginning.
After watching the Netflix documentary, “Jeen-yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy” I seen a shift in the culture and energy on campus and particularly in this friendship. Seeing how Kanye’s artistry had been treated from the beginning of his career lit a fire under me and my friend.
A fire to be more open and honest.
A fire to affirm my friends and to remind them of their greatness.
A fire in me to write more on soularlab.com
I really liked the way these photos turned out. When we first took them I had no intentions in creating a full story, but as I was editing them I fell more in love with how they looked.
The rusty brick background behind his freshly dyed brown hair was a combination that I really liked.
The subtle rainbow under his gray and black shoes create a nice contrast that adds dimension to the photos.
For this particular set I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary to get to an outcome that I was proud of. I just uploaded them into Lightroom, toggled with the settings and when I was done, I made a few collages with my favorites.
These photos are done.
But I am a work in progress.
A progression filled with people who do the things they love, creating a ripple effect for others to do what they also love.
Better together.
